yeah usually both show up on your dash and but only one in the notes so i was hoping you’d see both BUT anyway it was re: a pacific rim au where derek used to be a jaeger pilot but lost his partner in battle and garcia’s always been the main tech at their ~jaeger compound or whatever and so now derek is in charge of training all the newbie pilots and he and garcia hang out and fall in love and are wonderful but derek’s all depressed because he still wishes he could pilot a jaeger and help people so garcia builds him a mini-robot that he can pilot himself and he uses it to help cities rebuild after kaiju attacks because you know all the poor people had to move to the coast because all the rich people fled when the attacks started so derek remains a hero in the very best of ways just different than the way he thought he would be one
askl;dfjka;sdff TASHA THIS MEANS YOU HAVE TO WRITE IT
I WILL WILLINGLY INVOLVE MYSELF IN YOUR FANDOM IF IT MEANS YOU WRITE ME (AND ALEXIS) HOCKEY AU FIC
- big spoon/little spoon: penelope and derek both prefer derek to be the bigger spoon - what they instead argue over is which side of the bed they sleep on - because penelope is totally a right side of the bed sort of girl, but derek insists on sleeping on the side of the bed where the door is, no matter where they are. this causes some tension usually resolved by sex.
- favorite non-sexual activity: hanging out with each other!!! they just genuinely enjoy talking and joking and cooking with each other and watching dumb movies and doing the crossword (they are both tragically terrible at it and spencer despairs of them ever getting past tuesday’s puzzle) and basically just spending time with each other. there isn’t anyone else in their lives who makes them as happy or comfortable or makes them laugh as much as the other.
- who uses all the hot water: they do, collectively. because of sex.
- most trivial thing they fight over: when dudes hit on penelope at bars, derek feels like he should be able to glare menacingly at them. penelope disagrees. only once has a guy ever put a hand on penelope after she told him she wasn’t interested/was seeing someone and she had him in a choke hold faster than derek could even lurch out of his chair, so he knows that she knows that he knows she can take care of herself, he just wants them to know that they have no fucking chance. penelope suggests that it’s pretty clear considering derek’s status as a Ridiculously Attractive Human Being (TM). no one could ever measure up to him. (derek sees this for the derailing that it is, but his girlfriend’s too cute and gets away with it every time.)
- who does most of the cleaning: they split the duties - penelope does most of the laundry and straightens the living room and bedroom and derek cleans the kitchen and bathroom - and depending on who cooks, the other cleans the dishes, though they generally end up helping each other out.
- what has a season pass on their dvr/who controls the netflix queue: penelopeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!! who has excellent taste in everything and loves sci fi and fantasy and geekery - and derek can’t be arsed to do more than occasionally tape a game. (he doesn’t really get doctor who, but he likes game of thrones for sure.)
- who calls up the super/landlord when the heat’s not working: derek because he’s big and bad and strong and intimidating looking though when that doesn’t work, penelope bakes the super a pie and delivers it in a low cut dress and generally gets the whole thing resolved in like… a day.
- who steals the blankets: penelope, because her feet get cold. derek is a perfect boyfriend though and lets her tuck them between his calves to warm them up.
- who leaves their stuff around: derek! who is way too used to being a bachelor. penelope isn’t NEAT by any means, she tends far more towards the ecletic side of decorating, but still - derek needs to pick up his sweaty ass running clothes and put them in the hamper himself because she is certainly not gonna do it.
- who remembers to buy the milk: derek! but he also drinks more milk than should humanly be possible.
- who remembers anniversaries: they both do, though derek is just well practiced and penelope sets really good computer calendar reminders for herself.
yes yes yes yes yes yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
- big spoon/little spoon: agron insists on being the big spoon because HE IS THE TALLER PERSON NASIR THIS IS NOT A FACT THAT CAN BE ARGUED but nasir just lets agron fall asleep wrapped around him before flipping both of them over and falling asleep atop agron’s chest
- favorite non-sexual activity: honestly, probably sparring or actually being in their jaeger. sparring can be a kind of foreplay for them, or banter or even comfort - there’s something incredibly solid about knowing someone so well that you can anticipate their every move before they make it - and have someone know you to the same degree. being in the jaeger and connected to one another’s minds is similarly indescribable.
- who uses all the hot water: fucking nasir. agron always grumbles because he has at LEAST a foot more of body to wash and yet nasir takes like twice as long - nasir retorts that if agron wants to continue petting his hair then he needs to get over the fact that it takes time to actually take care of it
- most trivial thing they fight over: agron never picks up his goddamn underwear off the floor
- who does most of the cleaning: neither of them, but they live in kind of sparse conditions so it’s not like they have a lot to make messy
- what has a season pass on their dvr/who controls the netflix queue: agron but nasir has ultimate veto power. anyway, it’s hard not to like even the dumbest shows when you’ve been in the mind of a person who loves it sooooooooo much (ie. agron and every cooking show ever created)
- who steals the blankets: NASIR THERE IS NEVER A UNIVERSE IN WHICH NASIR DOES NOT STEAL THE BLANKETS HE IS A BLANKET KLEPTO AND THAT WILL NEVER CHANGE
- who leaves their stuff around: agron, the fucking jerk. but nasir doesn’t do very well in giving him incentive to stop because the second agron leaves a shirt around or something, nasir takes to wearing it and agron REALLY likes that. a lot.
- who remembers to buy the milk: the base supplies the milk. whether or not nasir remembers to drink any is another question. (agron is constantly worried about nasir’s vitamin intake)
- who remembers anniversaries: agron. nasir tends to lose track, but naevia reminds him and gives him a good kick in the ass whenever he needs one.
- who cooks normally?: agron! he pretty much views feeding the people he loves as an extension of his ~protective instincts so he’s pretty much always trying to feed nasir and duro. also he’s a total mama’s boy and she taught him how to cook. (nasir is very pleased by this because, duh, PIE - as is nasir’s mom as she despairs of nasir EVER learning how to cook for himself and she’s glad he’s found someone willing to learn how to cook a decent kibbeh) and now that agron and nasir are apart because of nasir being at grad school, agron sends him tins of cookies and whatever nasir’s mom tells him to make
- how often do they fight?: they rarely REALLY fight - if they fight, it’s over something big. usually they just bicker and that just results from tiredness/frustration at the small amount of time they get to actually be in each other’s company.
- what do they do when they’re away from each other?: PINE. no but really, they are really not good when they’re apart. nasir thinks he’s way better at dealing with it because he can compartmentalize, but really he just goes really quiet and grumpy and because he’s away from his family and old friends, it takes awhile for his new friends to realize that he’s not ALWAYS like that - it’s just how much he misses agron. and agron gets louder and angrier and the slightest thing can tip him over into fury - he’s got way less control without the calming influence of nasir over him, so he spends way more time with duro, who knows how to deal with agron’s temper (and who is one of the only people willing to put up with a miserable nasir-less agron)
- nicknames for each other?: agron calls nasir “beautiful” and nasir calls agron “babe” - little man is strictly forbidden in their household.
- who is more likely to pay for dinner?: agron! but not out of some undue sense of ~chivalry (naevia took him to task once) but because out of the two of them he is actually the only one who is gainfully employed. nasir begrudgingly admits this is true (though agron really does like to treat nasir, who he thinks works WAY too hard and deserves some spoiling)
- who steals the covers at night?: NASIR THE JERK, agron basically has to cling in order to ensure he gets his fair share - which, honestly, neither of them mind
- what would they get each other for gifts?: nasir has some weird preternatural talent for giving incredible gifts - signed band t-shirts and amazing concert tickets and a bright red kitchen aid mixer - and agron is constantly frustrated because HIS ARE NEVER AS GOOD. but he thinks he’s hit on a good set of ideas - basically nasir never fails to be incredibly grateful every time agron chooses to dress up & roleplay to fulfill one of nasir’s embarrassing but totally hot fantasies. (firefighter, cop, doctor, etc)
- who kissed who first?: nasir kissed agron - but only because agron was worried about being too forceful or forward and wanted to make sure that nasir was cool with the speed they were moving forward at. (he was)
- who made the first move?: AGRON who basically spent the few months after they’d become friends periodically testing the waters for a future relationship - nasir wasn’t quite sure how to respond to the beautiful ridiculous creature trying to constantly get his attention and give him gifts of coffee and knit slouchy hats (yes, agron knits) because he didn’t seem quite real to be perfectly honest - nasir wasn’t the kind of person who people like agron happened to, he never got nice things, not at least as far as he could remember. but agron was persistent and eventually convinced nasir that he wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon.
- who remembers things?: they’re both pretty shit at it, but fortunately they have naevia and duro and pietros and mira to keep them on track.
- who started the relationship?: they agreed together that they were gonna try this, no matter what.
- who cusses more?: agron agron agron agron - but nasir curses in more languages and because he does it less, it carries a little more weight
- what would they do if the other one was hurt?: literally tear the world apart to be together and to ensure that the person responsible never saw the light of day.
oh man, my babiesssss i haven’t thought about these jerks in forever! :D :D
- who cooks normally?: danny! though steve kind of wishes he wouldn’t because - uh - eggs. does he really have to say anything more? though to be honest, they probably order out more than they do anything else, perils of the job unfortunately. (and danny’s actually getting pretty good at throwing things in a stockpot that end up tasting kind of good once they get home at the end of a long day.)
- how often do they fight?: uh. is this a real question? because they never actually stop fighting. it’s banter/foreplay/comfort wrapped up all in one.
- what do they do when they’re away from each other?: danny likes to say that he relaxes, spends some time not worrying about getting blown up, but to be perfectly real, if they’re not together then he’s worried about steve blowing himself up so… steve compartmentalizes a lot better than danny, so as long as he doesn’t let himself think about how much he misses his bf then he’s okay.
- nicknames for each other?: danno, daniel, babe, booboo, steven, neanderthal, etc.
- who is more likely to pay for dinner?: danny WHICH HE IS NOT PLEASED ABOUT STEVEN PLEASE REMEMBER YOUR WALLET NEXT TIME OR THERE WILL BE NO NEXT TIMES AFTER.
- who steals the covers at night?: danny is SUCH a covers hog even though he complains about how hot it is every goddamned second of the day. steve just ends up flopping on top of danny because otherwise he’d never get a single iota of warmth.
- what would they get each other for gifts?: alcohol, cigars, pizza/bagels from the mainland, meat (no that is not a euphemism), time off
- who kissed who first?: steve kissed danny first, which danny will contest to his dying day
- who made the first move?: danny says that he totally did but steve says that since pulling his gun on danny that first day was totally a compliment, then he was first (danny contends that since HE pulled HIS gun on steve first then he should get credit for making the first move)
- who remembers things?: they’re pretty equivalent - steve’s memory for that sort of stuff is unparalleled and danny’s been well trained from his marriage - plus as much as they pretend that stuff like anniversaries aren’t a big deal, they both like to do special stuff. but when it comes to like buying milk and shit, that’s totally danny. steve is like a sieve re: non-essential errands.
- who started the relationship?: considering danny made it pretty clear from the start that he wasn’t gonna be one of steve’s ~girls in every port, he claims that he made it official first
- who cusses more?: steve, since danny trained himself out of it when grace was born - but steve has NEVER slipped up in front of grace, not once, so it’s okay.
- what would they do if the other one was hurt?: steve would probably commit murder on behalf of danny, danny would scream a whole fucking lot and there would be a lot of explosions and gunfire and terrified fury but then snarky coddling as the other recuperated
mmhmm, preach it
the thing is, like the first one or two are usually fine! and so i get lulled into a false sense of security and then then next thing i know i’m listening to some dickhole halfway across the country talk about poor black people playing the victim and i want to literally lay down and never get up again
i actually hadn’t considered that huh
i think part of it is my sick obsession with needing to know just how terrible the comments are going to be?? and then i am completely unsurprised when i go and read them, sigh.
i agree! the one i’d been toying with was rhineland star? which sounds almost like a country music award show or something (except, y’know, german)
also jupiter’s cock
aksld;jfasdfasdf you’re so right
JAEGER BOMB PLS OBVS
ugh i knoooooooow i like completely forgot how many tosh feels i had until that graphic showed up on my dash
aND REALLY cause in my headcanon TOSH TOOK OVER THE WORLD AND RULED IT WITH KINDNESS AND CUTENESS AND MANIPULATIVE COMPUTER FUCKERY AND BENEVOLENTLY LET OWEN BOW AND SCRAPE AT HER FEET FOR AWHILE BEFORE ALLOWING HIM TO LOVE HER LIKE SHE DESERVES (aksdl;fajsdf oh god don’t get me started on fucking janto like NO ANSDOAFSANOOOO)
but your version’s good too bb <33